I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
