It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
