I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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