i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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