yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
