Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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