best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
