Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
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