Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
