her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
