O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
