Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
