1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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