would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
