It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
