I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I want a musical about memes.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
