brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
