I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
