Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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