this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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