Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
