Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
