nut hugger
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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