these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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