$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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