I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
