i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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