hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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