Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
