My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
