What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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