ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
