I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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