doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
