The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
