Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
