All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
