bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize