felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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