just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
