dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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