I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
