Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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