PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
