If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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