Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
