I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Four minutes until I can fart!
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
