so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
how can u be prego again
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
