"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
