Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
