Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
