Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
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