But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
